Sunday, August 28, 2016

Notes to Sparty #3

Hi Sparty, so you are still reading these? Great! I’ll be honest, I do worry you’re going to find these tedious and eventually switch to the Lord of the Rings (which is totally fine, by the way- Gandalf is a much better storyteller than I am) 

Today, though, I’d like to tell about the first time we ‘saw’ you. It was a sunny 10th of May 2016 when we went to see the midwife. She asked us a few questions, gave us some information, and then she dimmed the lights and placed a scanner on your mummy’s tummy. 

For a few seconds, I couldn’t really make out what I was seeing, but then! There you were. It was our first glimpse of you. You were very tiny then (about 12 weeks) but you were unmistakably Sparty. It was pretty amazing seeing you moving around, a bit like an alien in a snowstorm. If you haven’t seen this already, here’s what you looked like.

In the weeks that followed, we tracked your progress with an app on your mum’s phone and every week we found some new and exciting information about you. Like for example two weeks ago, when we found out you’re already developing memory. Memory! Does this mean you might somehow remember what it was like when you were inside? I definitely don’t remember anything from my time in there, but then I’m reaching the age now where I’m having trouble remembering what happened yesterday. 

About four weeks ago we saw you again on the little screen, and this time you filled the screen a bit more. You were also moving a lot more that time around, and sucking away on your tiny thumb. You would think the second time would be less exciting than the first, but I can assure you it wasn’t. Your mum and I just stared at the screen, and I am sure I had my mouth open the entire time. I remember thinking about what it must be like for you, and whether you somehow knew we were checking in on you. 

Oh, and then there were the weeks in between where we were able to listen to your heartbeat. Your heart was still pretty small but it was beating away happily- it was a beautiful sound, like a little whale call; letting us know you were ok, while you danced in your own way to the gentle rhythms of this unfolding miracle. 

For a few days after I first heard your heartbeat, I kept thinking about it, and the little heart that houses it, and I felt my own heart racing at the thought of finally seeing you in the flesh. 

Life is a beautiful thing, and whatever your life has in store for you, there’s one thing you can be sure of: I will always be there, holding you so close that you can listen to the sound of my heartbeat in the same way I listened to yours. 

Love, your dad.

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