As strange as it is to be pondering the possible loss of your faculties while still in your mid-thirties, it is exactly what I have been doing lately. Perhaps it has something to do with another birthday appearing on the horizon, slowly coming into sharper focus with each passing day. Youth, time, strength, speed- the diminishing of all these seem to roll into one at this time of year, gathering pace as this annual bitter-sweet milestone approaches.

But this time seems a little different. Something strange is happening. Once-familiar names and places take longer to get plucked out from the ever-deepening fog of my memory, witty come-backs now come just a couple of seconds too late, and I’ve noticed I can’t watch a movie nowadays without going online to remember the name of at least one of its major stars.

It’s not just the mental side, of course. Physical transformations are taking place as well. They grey hairs are appearing with greater regularity; laugh lines are politely making way for wrinkles. Creaking sounds that I once could safely assume came from the chair I was sitting on, now are just as likely to originate from a part of my body. Mysterious patches appear on my skin, and when I try and investigate further, Google helpfully points to articles on ‘ageing spots’. And I find I involuntarily reach for the subtitles button on videos, because I just don’t hear so good anymore.

Even writing is harder now; words that once seemed to flow and slot into place on the page (or screen) now shuffle about like naughty schoolchildren refusing to get in line. Ironically, I seem to expend more energy on things that used to come easily, at a time when I seem to have less energy overall. All the evidence points to a loss of a spark; a blunting of an edge.

Could it be this is all in my head? Is it just fatigue? Or is this the beginning of the end? Is it possible that the well is running dry, things are in steady decline, and the window of opportunity afforded to me is slowly closing? These are the questions that have been plaguing me over the past few weeks. The questions have fermented into doubts; the doubts have begun to crystallise into belief.

And yet, and yet - of all the years I’ve had on this beautiful planet, 2016 has been one of the best. And somewhere in the back of this ragged, tentative mind, is the lingering feeling that the best is yet to come. Happiness is still a legitimate choice, loving and being loved is still an everyday reality. I am where I need to be. Yes, life is still fragile and oh-so-fleeting, but maybe I am more conscious of it now because I have never been more aware of its beauty.

So if things now take a little longer than usual, then so be it. The world will keep turning, and I will keep learning. Life is short enough even without my spending time thinking about how short it is. Now if I only I can remember where I left that anti-ageing cream…