Spit Back Club

Knowing I'd spent most of my life in Pune (for those who don't know where this, please refer to earlier post about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie), a friend of mine recently forwarded me this link. Quite thoughtful of him, I thought. But I could offer up nothing in my defense, except point out that spitting in public places was not merely confined to Pune as the article suggested, but was a national phenomenon, which wasn't really much of a defense at all.

Funnily enough, it seems this spitting business has been in the news a lot lately; this morning I came across this piece- this time out of Delhi. According to the article:

"The last time the government looked into the matter was December 12, 2006, when it started the campaign 'Stop Spitting at Tourist Sites'. The Tourism Ministry has since put aside Rs 50 million for it to increase civic sense among the burgeoning urban population."

50 million?! Now i'm not sure about the legitimacy of this claim (for starters, in India we count money in crores, not millions), but this sure does sound like a heck of a lot of money. And if most of this money is going into lame campaigns like 'Stop Spitting at Tourist Sites (pretty please)' then I for one am not surprised that the results are 'far from tangible'. No, desperate times call for desperate measures, which is why something like the Spit Back Club would be far more effective. It may have been too radical before, but perhaps, post-Rang De Basanti, its time has come. Below is the rough un-edited draft of the charter. There might be a glimmer of hope yet. Sigh.

I have long been perplexed by the countless instances of careless spitting from buses, cars, and even people just walking past. It bothered me, this disgusting and despicable habit, this blatant disregard for others. I often wondered whether these same people would do this in their homes, or even in their yards. I think not. Their own homes were spotless, every last thing in place, a shrine for the Gods. And yet, the minute they were on the streets, they were spitting everywhere. The world was their spittoon.

I laughed at the feeble attempts to curb the problem. Images of gods were being placed in the corners of stairs in movie theatres, hospitals, and hotels. To me, that smacked of desperation. As if they didn't already have their hands full with people praying for Sachin to score a century, for rains, for one honest politician, the gods were now being called upon to stop people spitting in public. There they were. One in every corner. It frustrated me that men had given up trying to do something about it, and were now shamelessly relying on divine intervention.

It was out of this frustration that the idea of the Spit Back Club took shape. The Spit Back Club will be a movement with one and only one aim: to stop people spitting. We will do this in exactly the way the name suggests. We will Spit Back. Systematically, and without malice, we will spit back on anyone seen spitting in public. By riding up to rickshaws, reaching up to buses, stopping on the street, we will fight spit with spit. And by the sheer strength of numbers, we will prevail.

The Spit Back Club will not be a group of anarchist youth, staying just above the law, trying to be cool. Instead, we will be a group of serious individuals, activists even, committed to making a difference by educating people. By making people think twice. We will spit only when spit on. We will not advertise on TV, we will not distribute pamphlets; we will not take out spots on the radio. We will not be aligned to any political party, or subscribe to any political or religious ideology. We will operate solely by word of mouth. And with our mouths.

Without saying a word.

We will not stop until every person in this country either refrains from spitting, or joins the Club. And when this is achieved, we will disband. The spitting will stop, and the club that will only be known as SBC will cease to exist.

Let the spitting begin.