Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Cold Steel Implements

There I was, staring into the sink as the pale green coloured fluid flowed down the pipe, down and out through the yard into some unknown darkness and, next thing I knew I was in a bright hospital room with the light burning holes in the back of my head and a nurse staring down at me from a hole in the ceiling and something smelled strange and do you know where you are? what day of the week is it? tell me your full name please, and date of birth, can he talk, I’ll need this information please, yes I'm in hospital and how did you get here it's Thomas spelt t-h-o-m-a-s fourteenthjulynineteeneightyone are any of you Nextofkin? does he have family here? is there a number you can call? I was, um, driven here by my friend Pete, he stays next door, yes there is, it's in my phone, no, stored under J, is he going to be ok nurse, we're his friends, he was ok this evening, no he hasn't been drinking, said he had a headache, no he hasn't had dinner, he threw up before we…,that's right Mrs. Davis, third room on your left the doctor will be along in a minute, would you mind waiting? there's an ambulance call at 34, is there a driver? can someone get that please? i'm just going to take some blood from your finger ok, could you please extend your arm, there's a good boy, this is going to scratch just a bit now could you please...is he on any medication, any known allergies? John's my uncle, he's in London, yes i suppose you could call is he going to be ok? can't take it you know, just can't take it, why is she off the shift, there's five people waiting, there's a queue here, mrs. davis that is, on the right, under observation, the ECG is on its way, no he hasn't been drinking i need you to take these pills it will bring the pain down ok? can you sit up? that's it, in they go are you ok there, luv, more water? could you roll up your sleeve for me please, no the left arm that’s it all the way up, that’s lovely, we're just going to take your blood pressure, can you turn the light off please its hurting my eyes, no that's it just the one sleeve, it will take a while, no there's just the one doctor on duty, the twenty-fourth is the earliest he can see you, now make a fist please, slowly, there's a good boy, the water fountain is down the hall on your left; gloves, doctor? that's it open wide, what's your name, Andy? Andy? yes in a minute, and how old are you Andy? can you open your mouth for me please, that’s right, good lad, I want you to cough for me now ok? I'll go first, watch me, cough, can you do that for me please? excellent, now I want you to go there and lie down on that bed and I'll be there in a minute ok? that's great, are you..? it’s a bit low but there's really nothing to worry about, we're going to have to do a couple more tests and keep him under observation, have a lie-down how are you feeling there? Mummy’s right here sweetie, no you can’t have a sweetie right now, I’ll be right there ok, kiss. no, it's Thomas spelt t-h-o-m-a-s fourteenthjulynineteeneightyone, yes I do, no, no allergies, no I don't take pills for it, Gloves. Please. Nurse. could we get the ECG in here please? is that an octopus on the wall? why would they have an octopus on the wall of a children's ward? is that supposed to be friendly? no the elephant doesn't look too friendly either, and there's a bleedin’ tiger as well, what is this, Alice-in-Jungleland? can you take your top off please, we will need a bedpan in 5, someone get that please? just relax there, this isn't going to hurt, just normal procedure, deep breath for me please, can you do that, was there a pink patch anywhere on his face or body, we can't rule it out at this point, it’s an ECG, that's it flat on your back please could you put your arms down by your side please? yeah, National Hell Service more like, in other news tonight no its perfectly normal would you like some more water? Man U lost? But it's bloody Fulham for God's sake! Hail Mary Mother of, it bloody stinks in here yes i hear you Mrs. Davis I heard you the first time he will be along in a minute...can i what? does it hurt when i do that? can you take a deep breath for me please, just relax its going to be fine, close your eyes, i'm going to turn the lights back on and are you ok there in that sink you're not throwing up again are you? Thomas? Guys, i think we need to get him to the hospital...

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