Dear M25

I love you, but please sort your life out.

Life is short enough without my having to sit for hours on end in my car, staring at the number plate of the car in front and imagining I am on Countdown (it's a really lame version of the game, and I can never get words longer than three letters) I mean, come on- I’ve seen cars move quicker on a production line.

Also, what is up with all the cameras? I almost feel like a celebrity on a red carpet; except of course the road isn't red, and, (no offense) not nearly as smooth as a carpet.

I know it's not all bad. Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh. For instance, it's great that you're getting wider. It appears to be a slow and painful process, but the last thing we need is for you to start downsizing like everything (and everyone) else these days. Also, you have a sense of humor. for e.g., every time I see this message on one of your screens: JUNCTION 15, 16 MILES, 18 MIN, it makes me laugh so hard that sometimes I spill my coffee all over myself because it almost always takes me about 500 MIN to get anywhere near JUNCTION 15. Also, that bit where you have a 50 mph average speed limit on the one section of the road where people can actually move faster than 30 mph? That’s hilarious, really.

And then there are those times, every once in a while, when you- with sparkling streetlamps hanging around you like a necklace- seem to almost glow in the pale light of the setting sun. Those are the times when everything seems right with the world, the road seems to rise up to meet my little car, and, for a few glorious moments, it feels like just you and me.

I think we'll be ok, the two of us. I'm not really looking for a long-term relationship at this point, but we could definitely get along and maybe see where the road leads? I'm just worried that if we don't work out our little issues, we could end up going round in circles. Or one big circle.

See you tomorrow.

If you're reading this, that means you're alive.

Whatever your circumstances, whatever else is going through your head right now, that is the single most important fact of your present situation.

These precious moments- make them count.